


The Seven Urges of Fandom

by Scrange



Category: Berena - Fandom, Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 09:49:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8484748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scrange/pseuds/Scrange
Summary: This is a stand-alone spoof, of the Seven Ages of Man speech in Shakespeare's 'As you Like It'. I'd been searching around for a Holby scene to spoof, to capture the various stages of paranoia / grief / frustration / diversion etc which the fandom had been going through, as Bernie's absence from the show got longer and longer, and Serena was suffering an innordinate amount of sapphic angst. Failing (so far at least) to find a suitable scene with a long progression of symptoms, this monologue popped into my head, another strange corruption of Life into Berena was born. With profound apologies to Shakespeare. It just Had To Be Done)I personally feel we’ve passed through the ranter and advocate stages in recent weeks, and are hovering around the harridan. I’m way gone, deep into last fan childhood. Hope you enjoy.(for anyone who'd like a reminder, here's the original monologue, with annotations: http://genius.com/William-shakespeare-the-seven-ages-of-man-all-the-worlds-a-stage-annotated)





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Seven Ages of Man](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/239923) by William Shakespeare. 



All the world’s a stage,  
And all the gorgeous middle-aged surgeons merely players;  
Not every week snogging on the theatre floor,  
And one fangirl in her time has many hearts,  
Her pangs being seven urges. At first the fandom virgin,  
Squealing and reblogging every flashy gif;  
And then the fanfic reader, with her bookmarks  
And suspiciously ruddy face, creeping like a snail  
Unwillingly from AO3. And then the lovelorn,  
Sighing like a furnace, with a woeful post  
Detailing every move of Serena’s eyebrow. Then a ranter,  
Full of strange oaths, and hounding the producers,  
Demanding when the fuck will this secondment end?  
Seeking the hope of representation,   
Even in the canon’s mouth. And then the advocate,  
With reams of followers, and regular anonymous asks  
With eyes now tired and wry remarks,  
Full of story arcs and S15 Serena scenes;  
And so she muses on the tropes. The sixth age shifts  
Into the sad and wearied harridan,  
Her voice so often speaks for the whole fandom:  
’That looped kiss scene, well savoured, a world too long  
Ago to keep us going;‘ and her much-brandished queer pride,  
Turning again toward guilty pleasures: AUs  
And fluff, not angst, is all she’ll read. Last fan of all,  
Desperate to end this harsh estrangement,  
Resorts to childishness and mere oblivion,  
Spoofs scenes, spoofs trees, spoofs Shrek, spoofs everything.


End file.
